Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
