is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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