I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
