i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
