Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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