can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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