all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
