Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
