its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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