Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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