I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
