Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
