Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
