all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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