his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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