I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
