I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're too hungover to prance.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
