ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
