she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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