So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
