i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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