Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
