Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
