If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
