I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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