I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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