Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
