Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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