idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
