I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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