Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
