I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she pinky promised me she was 18
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
