Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
