I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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