Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
