Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
