hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
