I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
