I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
