your thong is hanging out like whoa
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
