On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize