So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
