i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
