found the other keg... it's in the tree
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
