I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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