the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
