it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
did i walk over a car last night?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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