Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
