with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
