Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
