i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
