I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
