Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
