I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
