She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
