Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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