Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
