she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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